The following is a thoroughly modified version of the toddler’s rules of possession.

1. If I like your paper, it’s mine
2. If I can Google your paper, it’s mine
3. If I can find your paper in Google’s cache, it’s mine
4. If I can afford to buy it online, it’s mine
5. Even if you helped me with it, it is all mine
6. If I am writing a research paper, all the research is mine
7. If it looks like something I might write, it is mine
8. If I can get it through Turnitin or Safeassign, before you do, it’s mine
9. If you have your paper on a flash drive, and I find it, it’s mine
10. If your paper won’t get me an A, it’s yours

Sad but true…